Walk by Faith | Adoption

So much of the adoption process is having to walk by faith when there seems to be no rhyme or reason for any part of this process… You would think that this second time around that my heart and mind would remember what the lack of control feels like.  What it is like to obsessively check my phone for an email update letting us know that we have moved to another step in the journey. You would think I would remember how hard it is to watch your baby grow up in pictures.  To miss milestones like crawling for the first time, first tooth, first words, first birthdays.

It has been a struggle.  So many people have asked me is it easier the second time in our adoption. I’m not always sure if they mean if the process (aka all the paperwork and court procedures) will be shorter since we *just* did this or if they mean, emotionally is it easier since I am able to have one baby with me.  One baby home. My answer is always the same for these questions.  No.  Simple and true.  We had to go through all the same steps and procedures as we did previously with Davis, but this time, we had to do even more.  And emotionally, it has been so much harder for me and my heart.

While we were waiting for Davis, I didn’t truly know what I was missing. I loved him from the moment I saw his picture, but it was a different love when he was placed in my arms for the first time. I knew that moment that my heart would never, ever be the same.  That part of my purpose on this earth is to be his mama! And in the last 16 months that we have had him home my heart often feels like it will explode with the love I have for my child. So while we have waited the last 6 1/2 months for our baby girl, I now fully understand the love that a parent has for their babies. So it has made every emotion amplified time 100. And if you know me… my emotions are pretty much busting at the seams already anyway!! Just ask my husband:)

My heart is missing a piece.  Just like with Davis while we were waiting the long 11 months to bring him home.  A piece of my heart lives with our baby girl 7,000 miles away.  I ache for her to be in my arms! However, we got big news today that we have been approved for EP (emigration permit) and submitted to get a court date!! One more step completed and one more step closer to meeting our girl and standing before the judge saying we want to be her forever family!! So excited!!! We have been waiting a long 14 weeks in this one phase of the process. To have this piece completed takes a lot of anxiety away and more excitement can move into its place!

We are so thankful for the support and love we have received, and hopefully I will be writing again SOON telling everyone it is OUR turn! Our time to fly to Seoul, South Korea and hold our sweet Annalee for the first time.  Our time to meet with the judge and say YES to bringing our daughter into our family forever.  Please continue to wrap up in prayer as we wait for that moment and that God is already preparing her heart to join our family.  Thank you for walking along side us for the last two years!!

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